Back Home Again in Indiana

It's been awhile since I've written on this space, and a lot, a lot, A LOT has happened in the meantime.  In the last three months I have, finished my master's degree, secured my ideal job, Chuck has found a new job, we moved back to Indiana, moved again within Indiana, settled into a new routine of full-time work with regular hours, and got a dog.  It's been busy to say the least.

Here's a more detailed breakdown of our enormous post-grad life transition...

At the end of April, I graduated from Grand Valley State University with my Master's in Social Work.  I can't explain how good it feels to be done with my formal education (finally!) and to be able to write "MSW" behind my name.

With my sisters after my hooding ceremony.

As graduation was approaching, Chuck and I spent countless hours discussing what was next for us.  We knew that we did not want to stay in Michigan (particularly after this past winter!), but we didn't know where we would be headed next.  We toyed with the idea of going on a grand adventure far away, as well as settling down somewhere closer to our families and planting roots.  As fate would have it, just before graduation, I was offered a full-time position as a therapist for a mental health agency in my hometown in Indiana!  The position would offer us the opportunity to build a life around the comforts of my family and hometown, and would be an important step forward for my career.  The goal of being a therapist is what drove me to attend grad school in the first place, and I happily accepted the job.  And in May, we were off to Indiana to begin a new life! 

Chuck was able to find a job as an audio/visual technician in downtown Indy for a well-respected company with plenty of room to grow and advance.  Both of our jobs are full-time with regular hours, a luxury we had never before been afforded, and I cannot explain how much of a blessing it is that neither of us have to work nights or weekends... it's the little things! 

In June, we added a new member to our little family when we adopted a dog! Gilbert (the name came with him, but suits him well) is a 2-year-old pointer/hound mix who bounces between extreme energy and utter laziness by the hour.  He has a big bark, but rarely uses it, and he looooves to snuggle. The cat is not so fond of him, but we remain hopeful that she will come around. Chuck and I are officially outnumbered by animals, and we love it. 

Handsome Gilbert.

As we settle into July, we are settling into a place that feels like home, careers rather than jobs, and a new family dynamic.  It feels so good to be in this place of security after spending our first three years together as students, living on a measly budget, and generally feeling as though we were pushing our way through the dark, as we tried to learn adulthood together.  

We are happy. 

We certainly miss aspects of living in West Michigan, but nothing will ever feel as much like home to me as the cornfields.

Seeing Clearly

First, thank you to everyone who has checked in after reading my last post! I appreciate it! I just wanted to write a quick update about the progress my eyes have made in the last few weeks.

A few days after my last post I went to my first follow-up appointment, at which I expected to receive a new glasses prescription. Unfortunately, though the swelling in my corneas had gone down, my eyes were still much too dry to get a good reading on my prescription. The dr. concluded that the dryness was most likely a side effect of the drops he had prescribed me. He suggested discontinuing their use and continuing with artificial tears several times a day and coming back in 3 days.

Soooo... Last Saturday I returned for another follow-up and.... My eyes are healthy! I was able to get a new pair of glasses and some prescription sunglasses as well. They should be available sometime next week. In the meantime, I'm happy to announce that as my eyes have healed my vision has gotten significantly clearer and I am seeing comfortably with an old pair of glasses! Yay!

My Eyes Lately

Oh hey, party people.  Sorry for yet another long hiatus from the blogosphere.  I guess long breaks in blogging is sorta my thing.  Gotta keep the people wanting more.  And by people, I mean my mother-in-law, as I'm pretty sure she's the only one who reads these.  And she might not even read them all! (Hi Jana! Hope you're having a great day!)

Anyway, things have been nuts per usual.  I've been working, schooling, interning, and job searching and Chuck has been working especially unusual hours at work.  And for the last few weeks I've been operating as an almost legally blind person.

Read on for the saga of my eyes these last few months...

First of all, my vision is somewhere around 20/500 without corrective lenses (my eye doctor quit counting at that point.)  I read somewhere that this means that what most people can see clearly from 500+ ft away, I must be 20 ft away from before I can see it clearly.  When I don't have my glasses or contacts, I can't even kind of  begin to read the big E on an eye chart. It is considered to be "profound low vision."  Luckily, with the appropriate glasses and contacts I can see somewhere closer to 20/20. Yay! Effective glasses and contacts are essential to my ability to function each day.

In late September I went to my physician to get a prescription for what I believed was a case of pink eye in my left eye.  (I work with a lot of people and with children, and it's not unheard of for me to be exposed to pink eye germs.)  He gave me some antibiotics and I used them as directed and noticed no difference.  I also noticed no other symptoms of pink eye beyond that my eyes were pink.  I became suspicious that maybe something else was going on.

Within a few more weeks, my eyes were dry, painful, and both were now BRIGHT pink for the majority of each day.  People were starting to look at me funny because I no longer had any white in my eyes.  So, I made an appointment with my eye doctor back home in Indiana to see her during the week I was back preparing for the wedding.  I went to her, explained what was going on, and had my traditional exam done.  She determined that my eyes were just dry, suggested I drink more water, use a humidifier, and use moisturizing eye drops.  She also gave me more breathable contacts along with a new prescription for both my glasses and contacts.  And, with all of these new tips, I was able to keep my eye redness to a minimum on my wedding day. Woo!

Except when I got teary, as you can tell here (with my mama after dad's sweet speech.)

After another couple of weeks, after returning to Michigan, my new glasses and contacts came in the mail.  Immediately I knew they were wrong.  I was not able to see anything out of them, specifically out of the right lens.  Honestly, I might as well not been wearing them at all.  But, I didn't want to deal with the hassle of trying to get it all fixed while being in a different state than my eye doctor, so I simply continued to wear my old contacts lenses and carried on.

Unfortunately, my eyes continued to get worse.  By this point, I was carrying a drugstore worth of eyedrops in every purse I own, using a humidifier, taking antihistamines (in case it was some sort of allergy issue), taking eye vitamins, and still suffering from red, painful eyes, that continued to get worse.  I also continued to rely on using my old contacts daily, as my glasses were worthless with the new, clearly (well, not so clearly) incorrect lenses, even though I know that contacts are not good for irritated eyes.  A girl's gotta see!

Within the last month or so, I also began to develop an extreme sensitivity to light.  When driving (especially with sun reflecting off of the snow) I couldn't even keep my eyes open for more than a second or so at a time, because the light was especially painful, and I often have had to pull over to close my eyes for a while. I also resorted to blinking really quickly or squinting really hard, to be able to continue driving (I have many driving-dependent responsibilities for my job and internship.) And I drove with both the front and side visors down, and the passenger visor down, while wearing sunglasses. I looked like a fool, and I knew it wasn't safe.  Even the office and house lights became too painful to bear, and I began brushing my teeth in the dark. Obviously, I had to do something.  I had been putting it off for months because both my primary care physician and trusted eye doctor had brushed it off as nothing major and I figured it would go away on its own.

But, I (finally!) made an appointment with another eye doctor for a second opinion and to get my glasses/contacts script corrected.  When I got to the new appointment, they measured my glasses script to my vision needs and were baffled but just how far off they were!  Then, the doctor looked at my eyes under a microscope and declared they were some of the most damaged eyes he had ever seen.  In fact, his direct quote was, "your eyes look absolutely horrible.  I can't believe another doctor examined you and didn't do anything about this; it should have been addressed months ago!"  Yikes!  He ordered me to not wear my contacts for 30 days and prescribed me with steroid eye drops and moisture eye drops to use a minimum of 6 times a day between the two of them.  BUT, he also refused to give me a new glasses script for two weeks because both the damage and the eye drops cause changes in vision/cause me to see blurry (-er than normal) and any script he would give me, would not still be accurate after my eyes heal.  My only option has been to wear my barely-helpful-wrong-lenses glasses, or none at all.  Ay yi yi! Bad news for a blind girl!  Yet, I was so thankful to have answers and a solution, I could hardly be upset.

To compensate, I've had to zoom all my technology screens up to 200-250%, not drive anywhere where I would need to read a street sign, accept that I will not see or recognize anyone in a crowd unless they are standing on me, and generally hold things against my face to read them for the last few weeks.  I was only able to identify Chuck from across the way at the grocery store last weekend because he had a green blob on his head.  (He was wearing his beloved MSU Spartans hat.)  I'm currently 11 days into this, with 4 days to go before I can get new glasses!  And, in the last 2 days, I've noticed that my eyes are not red, much much less sensitive to light, and LESS BLURRY! ( My computer is only at 150% zoom right now! Little victories!)

So, if you've seen me in the last 11 days squinting, or with giant words on my computer, or holding paper up to my face, you know why.  And, if you've seen me in a public place and I didn't acknowledge you, I wasn't ignoring you, I just couldn't see the features of your face to identify you. If you've seen me in the last 4 months with bright red eyes, this is why.  I am so grateful to have some answers and so excited for new glasses this week!

I will never ignore my instinct that something is wrong with my health again, despite what doctors say.  It took three tries on this one, but I knew there was more than the story than meets the eye. (Get it? Eye!... sorry.)  And now I'm on the road to healing and recovery!!!!!

Be grateful for your vision, people.


And, one last thing... I do not fault my original eye doctor for this mistake/oversight.  She has been my trusted doctor since my first eye exam as a child and has never steered me wrong before.  There could be a million reasons (which I won't speculate on) as to why these mistakes were made.  She is a lovely person and a very good eye doctor in most cases.

Our Honeymoon: A Gift

Chuck and I are just starting out.  Really. Not just in our marriage, but in our lives as adults too.  It's not a secret that we don't have a ton of money.  In order to finish my master's degree I'm required to work an enormous amount of hours at an unpaid internship (you don't really wanna get me started on the concept of requiring someone to work for no compensation, trust me)... which, between that and classes, leaves me with only one day a week of availability to work for money. We are blessed that Chuck was able to find a job that makes enough money to support our basic needs, but there's not much left over at the end of the day.
This is why we are incredibly, overwhelmingly, insanely grateful to the friends and family who contributed to our honeymoon registry and allowed us to go on our first ever vacation together.  And to the beautiful country of Costa Rica, no less!  A place that's 80-90 degrees everyday in December?  Yes please.  We live in Michigan, for goodness sake!

We started out adventure at the Arenal Volcano, where we had the most beautiful, clear view straight off the back porch of our cabin.

Our view

Our cabin

While in Arenal, we visited the ecozoo where Chuck held a snake! We hiked to the waterfall and up the side of the volcano.  We even enjoyed an evening relaxing in the mineral hot springs.

That's a sloth!!

Hot Springs

Waterfall hike

After Arenal, we headed to Guanacaste, on the Pacific coast.  In Guanacaste, we laid on the beach, enjoyed incredible seaside sunsets, and went snorkeling for the first time! 

The view from the pool

Afternoon at the beach

Snorkel, baby, snorkel!

We had an amazing time and every leg of our travel went off without a hitch.  To everyone who made this trip possible- THANK YOU! It was truly a gift we will remember for the rest of our lives.

Retrospective Wedding Planning Tips

Now that the wedding is over and I can happily say that it went off without a hitch, I have a few more helpful wedding planning tips to share!

- Use your family and friend's gifts and talents.  We really made our wedding a friend and family affair when it came to all of the details.  We loved being able to display the talents of our loved ones and using so many friends and family members in our wedding lightened the load for us. There was no guessing game when it came to whether or not most of our vendors would be up to our standards, because we had a close relationship with so many people involved.  We were able to relax and trust that our outcome would be everything we hoped for.  We really couldn't have asked for a more trusted group of people to make our day a reality.

• My cousins, Ashley and Chris, did our photography, and my uncle took video.  Ash's website is linked on this post.
• My aunt and younger cousins helped with our polaroid guest book.  Which was SO FUN! 
• My little sister's dear friend, Lauren, made our beautiful and delicious cake! (Her website is also linked in the post above.) 
  

How amazing is this cake?!

• My mother-in-law made all of our wedding favors (homemade strawberry jam! Delicious!)
• My father-in-law handmade our seating card holders, which fit perfectly with our fall tree theme. 
  
  
  

Seating Cards!

• Our flowers were done by a local flower shop that has provided flowers to many family events over the years. They treated us like family and did a beautiful job.  It took me until two weeks after the wedding, when my flowers were beyond dead, to finally throw them away because I loved them so much!
• Our wedding was held in the church I grew up in and where my parents were married almost 35 years ago! Our reverend has been with our church since I was in middle school, has led my sisters and I through countless Bible studies, mission trips, and conferences, and is a trusted leader and gifted speaker.

- If your bridesmaids are spread throughout the country like mine were, the website Weddington Way is a great resource.  This website allows your bridesmaids to all order the same dresses no matter where in the world they live.  You can create a "showroom" where you select all of your favorite dresses and your girls can comment on the ones they like best.  Weddington Way offered great deals and had amazing customer service whenever I needed it. (Although one of my bridesmaids said she had trouble with their customer service, so take from that what you will).  We did have one sort of major issue with Weddington Way.  A couple of the girls used the sizing chart on the website to choose their dress size and did not take advantage of the website's policy that allows you to order and try on a dress prior to purchasing it... their dresses were much to big when they arrived!  (Weddington Way has been kind enough to reimburse them some of the money for their alterations because of the mixup.)

- We used the website vistaprint to order our wedding stationery in bulk for very cheap! Vistaprint has premade designs or allows you to use your own design or pictures.  Chuck designed our save-the-dates using the website and we ordered 250 of them for about $40 including shipping.  Most companies that specifically sell wedding stationery would cost upwards of $200 for that many save-the-date cards.

-Have your partner help with the planning! (Chuck specifically asked me to add this one, I swear!) Having a partner to do 50% of the work made my life so much easier, especially with my work and grad school schedules.  Chuck genuinely enjoyed being a part of the planning process and being able to incorporate his own ideas into the wedding.  He tends to be much more timely than I am when it comes to planning and made sure that things were done way ahead of time, leaving us with much less stress in the final weeks.  I think allowing Chuck to have a say in much of the wedding made it a more sentimental day for both of us!

Anything I missed? What did you find to be a helpful resource when you were planning your wedding?

THE WEDDING!

Well, we're married! And, I understand now why people have been getting married for thousands of years... getting married is so. much. fun!  I joked throughout our wedding day that I wish I could get married every weekend, because it really was the best day of our lives.  All of the people we love the most from the various corners of our lives were together in one room, dancing and sharing in our joy.  I felt beautiful and Chuck looked so handsome!  I am eager now to see the pictures my lovely cousin/photographer took so I can relive all the beautiful moments of the day.  (By the way check her and her talented husband's photography out at OC Image).

The whole day flew by in a blur.  Everyone said it would, and they were not exaggerating.  Chuck and I had discussed beforehand how quickly we knew it would go and how we should really make an effort to soak it in, but that is easier said than done.  There were so many people to catch up with and so many things to do that after the ceremony Chuck and I barely even saw each other until we crashed in our hotel room at 2am.  I don't know where the time went, but I am so grateful for that night with my favorite friends and family. The only thing I missed out on was a chance to really get to enjoy the cake.  I barely even had a chance to look at it, and, unfortunately, the top layer did not get saved for us. We will definitely have to have our friend, Lauren make us an anniversary cake next year! (Check out our cake baker, Lauren's site too!)  Overall, I wouldn't change a thing.

Thank you so much to our friends and family who helped us pull off such an amazing day.  All week our friends have been telling us how great our families are and our families have been mentioning how great our friends are! We already knew all of that, but I'm glad everyone we know has had a chance to experience the other individuals in our lives that leave us full of joy and gratitude every day.

We are excited to see where this journey of marriage takes us as we build our life and a family together.
We are so deeply blessed.

The Final Stretch of the Engagement

This last month has been a whirlwind.

Truthfully, the whole engagement has seemed incredibly fast, but this month especially.  The fall has been going so quickly, as I have settled in at a new internship that keeps me very busy, changed around my work schedule, and, of course, been tying up all the loose ends of wedding planning.  So I apologize for my lack of blogging for anyone who is reading out there.  I know there are at least a couple of you.

Throughout the engagement, people have asked me if I've been stressed, and the answer has always been no.  Not even a little.  I have adored the process of wedding planning and I have had an equal partner throughout the journey to carry half of the weight as well as countless family members pitching in.  However, these last few weeks have truly begun to be stressful, because Chuck and I both have so little time in a day between all of our school/work commitments and the pressure is on to get things completed within 16 days or fewer.  (Even as I type that number, it doesn't feel real, because I have so many obligations here in Michigan for work and school between now and then.) Yikes!

This week alone has yielded two emotional breakdowns, which is two more than I've had in this 11-month-long wedding planning process so far.  Both were handled so gracefully by my husband-to-be, who wisely steps in to help resolve the situation without trying to take over, knowing that forcing me to give up total control will only end in more stress on my part. (I'm generally laidback, but when I'm in the midst of something, I have to finish it the way I intended to and passing the torch is anxiety-inducing.  Thanks to my mom for those control freak genes.)  As we travel closer and closer to the alter, I am constantly reaffirmed in this decision to marry Chuck.

I have to remind myself that even if the seating charts are all messed up and the music isn't perfect (the sources of this weeks meltdowns), we will be spending a day in communion with the people we love the most.  People will be fed, loved on, and appreciated so deeply.  And nothing else matters.  After all this preparation, in two weeks, 200+ of you crazy people will gather and celebrate this sweet love we have found. Wow!

How blessed we are.

On becoming a WOD...

Anyone who's a fan of the sitcom "Scrubs," may already know what WOD stands for. For  those who don't know, WOD is what the character, Carla, calls herself when her husband is diagnosed with diabetes, and it is short for "Wife of Diabetic." In less than two months, I will be taking on that title.  It's a big title to bear.  A lot comes with the territory.

As a WOD there are many experiences I will have that wives of non-diabetic partners (or D-Spouses) will not.  Non-D-spouses will never understand the fear of knowing your partner's life is dependent on the proper functioning of a pocket-sized plastic electronic device, which has been known to glitch out.  They will never experience the red hot anger of being told that they cannot get more insulin for 3 days, pending insurance approval, when their husband is all out, with a high BSL.  They won't take offense when they hear the word "diabetic" being used as an insult for someone who is overweight, or eating a dessert or fast food.  And they will probably not worry too much about the chances of their childrens' pancreases malfunctioning.  They won't wonder if their kids will be old enough to manage their sugars on their own when it does, or if diabetes will strike them when they're tiny, vulnerable babies.

In the 2.5 years that Chuck and I have spent developing our relationship, I've learned so much about him and about diabetes.  I've learned that I worry a heck of a lot more about Chuck's diabetes than he does.  (I come from Clark blood, I'm a natural-born worrier.) I've learned that he knows what he's doing. And, I've learned that I have no control over the inner functionings (or malfunctionings) of his body.  He's been type 1 diabetic for more than half of his young life.  He's got it down. But as his wife-to-be I want nothing more than to take care of him for the rest of my life.  In this area, I have to surrender control.  This has been the toughest lesson for me. 

There are many questions that I still don't know the answers to.  And there are many answers I don't want to know. Because, in reality, they don't matter.  I love Chuck. Every bit of him, and every bit of baggage that comes with him.  And we will continue to cross each bridge we come across, together.  Even the scary, rickety, uncertain bridges.       

Five Tips for Wedding Planning That are Actually Helpful

When you first get engaged, people will shower you with (often unsolicited/unwanted/unhelpful) advice.  But, as a new bride-to-be you will also be hungry for tips and helpful hints for wedding planning that will make the process easier. I wouldn't say I'm an expert, but Chuck and I like to think we're pretty good at this whole wedding planning thing. (We will see come wedding day if it all falls apart!)

So, whether you're newly engaged or single and hope to get married someday, Chuck and I want to share with you a few things we've learned about wedding planning so far.  This is my own piece of unsolicited, maybe unwanted, but hopefully helpful advice for you.

1. Do not have expectations of perfection.  You are setting yourself up for disappointment and unwanted stress.  Magazines, websites, tv shows, etc. will advertise "How to Have Your Dream Celebrity-Style Wedding."  It's not going to happen... it's just not.  As long as you are married to your favorite person on earth at the end of the day, you've had the perfect wedding.  Be flexible about everything else. And, if your spouse-to-be isn't your favorite person on earth, reconsider getting married at all! You're stuck with them for the rest of forever.

Sidenote: people might tell you horror stories about all the horrible things that went wrong at their own wedding or a wedding they read about once on the internet.  Just ignore them.  They're jealous meanies who want to steal your joy. The crazy things they tell you probably won't happen on your day anyway.

2. Some details are more important than others, whether you like it or not.  It is important to incorporate aspects of your religion, personalities, family members, and other personal touches that are meaningful to you.  It is generally not important what your favors are, what jewelry your wear, centerpieces look like, your cake flavor, or even what you serve for dinner.  Every single person I've asked cannot recall more than one of those details from weddings they have attended in the past.  DO NOT STRESS OVER THEM!  Yes, you should have those things, but you should not make them a primary concern in your planning.  Put something pretty-ish on the tables, feed the people, and have a great party!

3. Join theknot.com.  It does everything- maps out your to-dos in chronological order for you, allows you to track your guest list and RSVPs, helps you map out your seating chart, create a wedding website, and is full of inspirational pictures and tips.  And it's FREE!

4. BUY STAMPS! Buy all of the stamps.  Ask for stamps for your birthday, Christmas, Halloween, whatever.  You will never have enough. Between sending save-the-dates, invites, RSVP cards, rehearsal invites, and thank you notes to everyone you've ever known, you will need all the stamps you can get.  No one told me this before I started wedding planning!  With the number of stamps we've used in the last few months, I can't believe no one has mentioned it before.

5. Make a document of all of the addresses you need in an address label template on Word.  Every time you need to send one of the above documents, print the addresses on sticky labels and set up an assembly line of sticking on addresses and stamps with your partner.  You don't want to hand write 200 addresses every time.  Trust me.

I'm sure I'll have many more tips after the wedding day, but for now, these five tips have kept me sane.  And I wish someone had told me before I started planning.

Any brides-to-be or newlyweds out there with other helpful hints?  What's keeping you sane during your planning process?  I'd love to hear your tips. Solicited advice.

Life Lately

Hello, readers.  Yes, we are still alive and well, just been too busy for blogging lately.

Since you've heard from me last, my grad school summer term has ended!! I could not be more grateful.  This term was challenging.  I took three classes with very heavy course loads during an abbreviated summer term.  So for the past few weeks, I've been spending every bit of my "free" time on homework. As of yesterday evening, I have turned in all of my remaining assignments. Whew! Drowning in school is not the ideal way to spend a summer. It was a bad idea.  BUT, it's OVER! And I finally get to enjoy a couple of weeks of summer vacation before the fall semester starts.

Can I get a hallelujah?!
Hallelujah!

In the midst of this last week of school, my family was here visiting.  It has been wonderful to have everyone together.  It's a rarity now that my sisters and I are adults who no longer live at home.  We had a great time sitting around the campfire. laughing, and making new memories.

I am truly so blessed by the little community of people I call my family.  Both my own immediate family and the extended family I will soon gain through marriage.  I cannot wait for our wedding and the opportunity for all of the wonderful people in our lives to be together for one big giant love party! It's only 84 days away!

Speaking of which, we have begun to get RSVPs in the mail daily.  It makes checking the mailbox so much more exciting! If you've sent yours, we thank you!

Aside from school, work, and wedding planning, not much is new. I would say that I'll be blogging more during these next couple of weeks off from school, but I don't want to make any promises I can't keep.