Retrospective Wedding Planning Tips

Now that the wedding is over and I can happily say that it went off without a hitch, I have a few more helpful wedding planning tips to share!

- Use your family and friend's gifts and talents.  We really made our wedding a friend and family affair when it came to all of the details.  We loved being able to display the talents of our loved ones and using so many friends and family members in our wedding lightened the load for us. There was no guessing game when it came to whether or not most of our vendors would be up to our standards, because we had a close relationship with so many people involved.  We were able to relax and trust that our outcome would be everything we hoped for.  We really couldn't have asked for a more trusted group of people to make our day a reality.

• My cousins, Ashley and Chris, did our photography, and my uncle took video.  Ash's website is linked on this post.
• My aunt and younger cousins helped with our polaroid guest book.  Which was SO FUN! 
• My little sister's dear friend, Lauren, made our beautiful and delicious cake! (Her website is also linked in the post above.) 
  

How amazing is this cake?!

• My mother-in-law made all of our wedding favors (homemade strawberry jam! Delicious!)
• My father-in-law handmade our seating card holders, which fit perfectly with our fall tree theme. 
  
  
  

Seating Cards!

• Our flowers were done by a local flower shop that has provided flowers to many family events over the years. They treated us like family and did a beautiful job.  It took me until two weeks after the wedding, when my flowers were beyond dead, to finally throw them away because I loved them so much!
• Our wedding was held in the church I grew up in and where my parents were married almost 35 years ago! Our reverend has been with our church since I was in middle school, has led my sisters and I through countless Bible studies, mission trips, and conferences, and is a trusted leader and gifted speaker.

- If your bridesmaids are spread throughout the country like mine were, the website Weddington Way is a great resource.  This website allows your bridesmaids to all order the same dresses no matter where in the world they live.  You can create a "showroom" where you select all of your favorite dresses and your girls can comment on the ones they like best.  Weddington Way offered great deals and had amazing customer service whenever I needed it. (Although one of my bridesmaids said she had trouble with their customer service, so take from that what you will).  We did have one sort of major issue with Weddington Way.  A couple of the girls used the sizing chart on the website to choose their dress size and did not take advantage of the website's policy that allows you to order and try on a dress prior to purchasing it... their dresses were much to big when they arrived!  (Weddington Way has been kind enough to reimburse them some of the money for their alterations because of the mixup.)

- We used the website vistaprint to order our wedding stationery in bulk for very cheap! Vistaprint has premade designs or allows you to use your own design or pictures.  Chuck designed our save-the-dates using the website and we ordered 250 of them for about $40 including shipping.  Most companies that specifically sell wedding stationery would cost upwards of $200 for that many save-the-date cards.

-Have your partner help with the planning! (Chuck specifically asked me to add this one, I swear!) Having a partner to do 50% of the work made my life so much easier, especially with my work and grad school schedules.  Chuck genuinely enjoyed being a part of the planning process and being able to incorporate his own ideas into the wedding.  He tends to be much more timely than I am when it comes to planning and made sure that things were done way ahead of time, leaving us with much less stress in the final weeks.  I think allowing Chuck to have a say in much of the wedding made it a more sentimental day for both of us!

Anything I missed? What did you find to be a helpful resource when you were planning your wedding?

THE WEDDING!

Well, we're married! And, I understand now why people have been getting married for thousands of years... getting married is so. much. fun!  I joked throughout our wedding day that I wish I could get married every weekend, because it really was the best day of our lives.  All of the people we love the most from the various corners of our lives were together in one room, dancing and sharing in our joy.  I felt beautiful and Chuck looked so handsome!  I am eager now to see the pictures my lovely cousin/photographer took so I can relive all the beautiful moments of the day.  (By the way check her and her talented husband's photography out at OC Image).

The whole day flew by in a blur.  Everyone said it would, and they were not exaggerating.  Chuck and I had discussed beforehand how quickly we knew it would go and how we should really make an effort to soak it in, but that is easier said than done.  There were so many people to catch up with and so many things to do that after the ceremony Chuck and I barely even saw each other until we crashed in our hotel room at 2am.  I don't know where the time went, but I am so grateful for that night with my favorite friends and family. The only thing I missed out on was a chance to really get to enjoy the cake.  I barely even had a chance to look at it, and, unfortunately, the top layer did not get saved for us. We will definitely have to have our friend, Lauren make us an anniversary cake next year! (Check out our cake baker, Lauren's site too!)  Overall, I wouldn't change a thing.

Thank you so much to our friends and family who helped us pull off such an amazing day.  All week our friends have been telling us how great our families are and our families have been mentioning how great our friends are! We already knew all of that, but I'm glad everyone we know has had a chance to experience the other individuals in our lives that leave us full of joy and gratitude every day.

We are excited to see where this journey of marriage takes us as we build our life and a family together.
We are so deeply blessed.

The Final Stretch of the Engagement

This last month has been a whirlwind.

Truthfully, the whole engagement has seemed incredibly fast, but this month especially.  The fall has been going so quickly, as I have settled in at a new internship that keeps me very busy, changed around my work schedule, and, of course, been tying up all the loose ends of wedding planning.  So I apologize for my lack of blogging for anyone who is reading out there.  I know there are at least a couple of you.

Throughout the engagement, people have asked me if I've been stressed, and the answer has always been no.  Not even a little.  I have adored the process of wedding planning and I have had an equal partner throughout the journey to carry half of the weight as well as countless family members pitching in.  However, these last few weeks have truly begun to be stressful, because Chuck and I both have so little time in a day between all of our school/work commitments and the pressure is on to get things completed within 16 days or fewer.  (Even as I type that number, it doesn't feel real, because I have so many obligations here in Michigan for work and school between now and then.) Yikes!

This week alone has yielded two emotional breakdowns, which is two more than I've had in this 11-month-long wedding planning process so far.  Both were handled so gracefully by my husband-to-be, who wisely steps in to help resolve the situation without trying to take over, knowing that forcing me to give up total control will only end in more stress on my part. (I'm generally laidback, but when I'm in the midst of something, I have to finish it the way I intended to and passing the torch is anxiety-inducing.  Thanks to my mom for those control freak genes.)  As we travel closer and closer to the alter, I am constantly reaffirmed in this decision to marry Chuck.

I have to remind myself that even if the seating charts are all messed up and the music isn't perfect (the sources of this weeks meltdowns), we will be spending a day in communion with the people we love the most.  People will be fed, loved on, and appreciated so deeply.  And nothing else matters.  After all this preparation, in two weeks, 200+ of you crazy people will gather and celebrate this sweet love we have found. Wow!

How blessed we are.

On becoming a WOD...

Anyone who's a fan of the sitcom "Scrubs," may already know what WOD stands for. For  those who don't know, WOD is what the character, Carla, calls herself when her husband is diagnosed with diabetes, and it is short for "Wife of Diabetic." In less than two months, I will be taking on that title.  It's a big title to bear.  A lot comes with the territory.

As a WOD there are many experiences I will have that wives of non-diabetic partners (or D-Spouses) will not.  Non-D-spouses will never understand the fear of knowing your partner's life is dependent on the proper functioning of a pocket-sized plastic electronic device, which has been known to glitch out.  They will never experience the red hot anger of being told that they cannot get more insulin for 3 days, pending insurance approval, when their husband is all out, with a high BSL.  They won't take offense when they hear the word "diabetic" being used as an insult for someone who is overweight, or eating a dessert or fast food.  And they will probably not worry too much about the chances of their childrens' pancreases malfunctioning.  They won't wonder if their kids will be old enough to manage their sugars on their own when it does, or if diabetes will strike them when they're tiny, vulnerable babies.

In the 2.5 years that Chuck and I have spent developing our relationship, I've learned so much about him and about diabetes.  I've learned that I worry a heck of a lot more about Chuck's diabetes than he does.  (I come from Clark blood, I'm a natural-born worrier.) I've learned that he knows what he's doing. And, I've learned that I have no control over the inner functionings (or malfunctionings) of his body.  He's been type 1 diabetic for more than half of his young life.  He's got it down. But as his wife-to-be I want nothing more than to take care of him for the rest of my life.  In this area, I have to surrender control.  This has been the toughest lesson for me. 

There are many questions that I still don't know the answers to.  And there are many answers I don't want to know. Because, in reality, they don't matter.  I love Chuck. Every bit of him, and every bit of baggage that comes with him.  And we will continue to cross each bridge we come across, together.  Even the scary, rickety, uncertain bridges.       

Five Tips for Wedding Planning That are Actually Helpful

When you first get engaged, people will shower you with (often unsolicited/unwanted/unhelpful) advice.  But, as a new bride-to-be you will also be hungry for tips and helpful hints for wedding planning that will make the process easier. I wouldn't say I'm an expert, but Chuck and I like to think we're pretty good at this whole wedding planning thing. (We will see come wedding day if it all falls apart!)

So, whether you're newly engaged or single and hope to get married someday, Chuck and I want to share with you a few things we've learned about wedding planning so far.  This is my own piece of unsolicited, maybe unwanted, but hopefully helpful advice for you.

1. Do not have expectations of perfection.  You are setting yourself up for disappointment and unwanted stress.  Magazines, websites, tv shows, etc. will advertise "How to Have Your Dream Celebrity-Style Wedding."  It's not going to happen... it's just not.  As long as you are married to your favorite person on earth at the end of the day, you've had the perfect wedding.  Be flexible about everything else. And, if your spouse-to-be isn't your favorite person on earth, reconsider getting married at all! You're stuck with them for the rest of forever.

Sidenote: people might tell you horror stories about all the horrible things that went wrong at their own wedding or a wedding they read about once on the internet.  Just ignore them.  They're jealous meanies who want to steal your joy. The crazy things they tell you probably won't happen on your day anyway.

2. Some details are more important than others, whether you like it or not.  It is important to incorporate aspects of your religion, personalities, family members, and other personal touches that are meaningful to you.  It is generally not important what your favors are, what jewelry your wear, centerpieces look like, your cake flavor, or even what you serve for dinner.  Every single person I've asked cannot recall more than one of those details from weddings they have attended in the past.  DO NOT STRESS OVER THEM!  Yes, you should have those things, but you should not make them a primary concern in your planning.  Put something pretty-ish on the tables, feed the people, and have a great party!

3. Join theknot.com.  It does everything- maps out your to-dos in chronological order for you, allows you to track your guest list and RSVPs, helps you map out your seating chart, create a wedding website, and is full of inspirational pictures and tips.  And it's FREE!

4. BUY STAMPS! Buy all of the stamps.  Ask for stamps for your birthday, Christmas, Halloween, whatever.  You will never have enough. Between sending save-the-dates, invites, RSVP cards, rehearsal invites, and thank you notes to everyone you've ever known, you will need all the stamps you can get.  No one told me this before I started wedding planning!  With the number of stamps we've used in the last few months, I can't believe no one has mentioned it before.

5. Make a document of all of the addresses you need in an address label template on Word.  Every time you need to send one of the above documents, print the addresses on sticky labels and set up an assembly line of sticking on addresses and stamps with your partner.  You don't want to hand write 200 addresses every time.  Trust me.

I'm sure I'll have many more tips after the wedding day, but for now, these five tips have kept me sane.  And I wish someone had told me before I started planning.

Any brides-to-be or newlyweds out there with other helpful hints?  What's keeping you sane during your planning process?  I'd love to hear your tips. Solicited advice.

Life Lately

Hello, readers.  Yes, we are still alive and well, just been too busy for blogging lately.

Since you've heard from me last, my grad school summer term has ended!! I could not be more grateful.  This term was challenging.  I took three classes with very heavy course loads during an abbreviated summer term.  So for the past few weeks, I've been spending every bit of my "free" time on homework. As of yesterday evening, I have turned in all of my remaining assignments. Whew! Drowning in school is not the ideal way to spend a summer. It was a bad idea.  BUT, it's OVER! And I finally get to enjoy a couple of weeks of summer vacation before the fall semester starts.

Can I get a hallelujah?!
Hallelujah!

In the midst of this last week of school, my family was here visiting.  It has been wonderful to have everyone together.  It's a rarity now that my sisters and I are adults who no longer live at home.  We had a great time sitting around the campfire. laughing, and making new memories.

I am truly so blessed by the little community of people I call my family.  Both my own immediate family and the extended family I will soon gain through marriage.  I cannot wait for our wedding and the opportunity for all of the wonderful people in our lives to be together for one big giant love party! It's only 84 days away!

Speaking of which, we have begun to get RSVPs in the mail daily.  It makes checking the mailbox so much more exciting! If you've sent yours, we thank you!

Aside from school, work, and wedding planning, not much is new. I would say that I'll be blogging more during these next couple of weeks off from school, but I don't want to make any promises I can't keep.

The Second Great Hamster Escape

This was supposed to be a post to inform you that the mystery had been solved and through my incredible sleuthing skills happenstance and luck I had discovered the way our ham(mon)ster had escaped.  But, instead, this is a story about not learning your lesson the first time and putting too much trust in a miniature rodent (albeit an adorable one).

A few days ago Sonic's wheel began to squeak! It was awful.  And so, in the middle of the night, I removed his wheel from his cage to get some sleep.  When I woke up the next morning to return his wheel to him, I found the little man climbing the cage walls with the help of a running start!! He just ran right up them and it appears he's been able to do this the whole time. That wheel-loving nugget was trying to show me who was boss after I took his wheel away!

After snapping a few pictures of his amazing feat and that belly(!!!!) I took out his water bottle (which forces the lid to remain open a crack) and closed his lid completely to keep him in while I thought of a better solution.

I can't even be upset... I'm too impressed.

However, school/finals!/work/general busy-ness got in the way and I didn't have time to think of a different set-up and I couldn't leave the little guy without water.  So, I chalked it up to an act of teenage (he's like 50 in hamster-years) angst, and figured with his wheel back in place and the lid down in its usual position (the first time he got out it had been fully open) he would stay put in his happy home.

Fast forward to this morning.  Chuck and I got out of bed and sleepily headed to the bathroom where Sonic lives separated from his sister-cat.  Per the usual morning routine, I reached in his cage and said "Good morning, Little Nugget!" I didn't see him right away, so I assumed he was sleeping in his hut and lifted it.  Not there.  Now, I'm legally blind without corrective lenses and was glassesless at this particular moment, so I asked Chuck for confirmation- "Am I just not seeing him, or is he really not in there?!"  His lid had been and was still down, the bathroom door closed all night, and there was no tiny Sonic scampering along the bathroom floor.  Chuck got a puzzled look, then used his perfect, blessed, 20/20 vision to look across the adjacent living room.  "That might explain the situation in the corner," he said.  Cleo, our cat, was laying on the floor staring intently at the couch.

We ran over, grabbed the cat, and locked her in the bedroom, then carefully pulled the couch away from the wall.  A tiny ball of fat and fur waddled full speed across the floor and the chase was on... again! I have to admit that furry little butt running across the room as I imagined him squealing "freeeeedommmm," had me cracking up.  

After a short chase (his quarter-inch long legs can only run so fast) he was once again caught and safely returned to his cage and I was forced to come up with a new watering solution right then and there... no more putting it off.  He now has a small bowl of water in his cage instead of the usual hamster bottle and his lid firmly closed and locked!

If we can't even keep a hamster in a cage, three and a half feet off the ground, and locked in a room from sneaking out in the middle of the night, we're in trouble when we have teenagers some day! Although, if their sneak-outs are half as impressive as his have been, I don't even think I'll be mad.  

(Note to reader: don't show that last sentence to my future children someday, please and thank you.) 

The Mystery of the Escaping Hamster

Alright detectives, we have a mystery that needs solved!

About a week ago, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom.  This is not out of the ordinary. What was out of the ordinary, however, was that when I turned on the light I found our itty bitty dwarf hamster, Sonic, standing in the middle of the floor staring up at me!  I screamed, which woke Chuck, and the two of us were forced into a dreary-eyed, cat-led hamster-hunt around the apartment in the middle of the night.

We caught him! Put him in his cage and explored the area.  The bathroom door had been shut to keep the cat out and his cage was on its table, unmoved.  The only thing that was even remotely strange was that the lid to his cage was flipped completely open.  The lid is usually only open about an inch to allow room for our makeshift water bottle setup.  But even open, he should not have been able to climb the smooth plastic walls above and below the row of bars to get out and he certainly should not have been able to get from the top of his cage to the floor!  Sonic has been a part of our family for more than a year and a half now and he has never shown any inclination that he has the ability to leave his cage at his own will. 

Sonic's cage setup for reference.  It's really high up for such a little guy.

So how the heck did he get out and fall the equivalent of at least 3 hamster-stories to the ground without getting hurt?!?!

We each have our theories as to how it happened and each of our theories are equally ridiculous and likely impossible.  So, what do you all think? Does anyone have any ideas as to how our little man made his great escape?

The Job Saga Continues

In my last post, (which has been way too long ago) I mentioned Chuck's exciting new job opportunity and my situation with having to change jobs.  So much has happened in the few weeks since then.  Soon after Chuck began at PRP Wine (delicious wine, by the way), another, BETTER opportunity came along! Persistence and patience pay off.

For anyone who doesn't know, Chuck's ultimate career goal is to work in some capacity in the media industry. He is very skilled in video production and does some graphic design (he created our save the dates based on a design we liked online, if you've seen them.)  Three weeks ago, he was offered a position on the audio/visual team at the JW Marriott in downtown Grand Rapids!!  The opportunity was too good to pass up and he ended his time as a wine salesman after just one week.  Now, he is building his skills with the equipment needed to work in media in a very well respected company and is another step closer to his dream job! I am so proud and he is LOVING his new job!

My new job has been filled with new challenges for me.  The physical challenge is one that I didn't expect.  The child I care for ("J") has about the same capabilities as a 6-8 month old baby... but he's a 70lb 13-year-old! There is a lot of lifting and carrying and I'm certain I'm gaining some serious muscle mass in my arms.  The other major challenge was one I had anticipated.  J is nonverbal.  As a future therapist, I am skilled at helping others through talking with them.  With J, this is not an option.  I've had to learn to figure out what his needs are based on his behaviors.  I'm coming along and this kid and his family are impossible not to love, but it is certainly a change for me.

Along with the direct challenges of my new job, I am still readjusting to what feels like a step back career-wise.  I lost a job where I had my own office, made my own hours (which meant all my evenings and weekends off from work!), with benefits and a high level of responsibility over a team of employees.  I was involved in a leadership role for a well known organization... and now, I'm not.  But, as Chuck must frequently remind me, my primary focus right now needs to be on grad school, and my new job allows me the opportunity to do my homework at work (I'm writing this post from work now) and helps pay the bills.  For now, that's exactly what I need and I am grateful for the opportunity.  Plus, doing homework at work, means when I'm at home I have more time to spend with my tiny half-human-half-animal family, and that's my favorite thing in the world.  Can't beat that.

In non-work related news, Chuck and I picked out our wedding bands last night!!!!  We're almost to wedding time, people of the internet, just under 4 months to go!

Patience and Trust Through New Opportunities

The other day I saw a sign in front of a church that said "Patience is trusting in God's timing," and these last few weeks have been a lesson in just that.  Trusting in God's timing has always been challenging for me.  I want things to happen on my time instead.  But, that's not how things work, and I'm so glad it's not, because who knows how many hasty decisions I would have made in the name of impatience!

Anyway, so much has happened since my last post that I'm not even sure where to start.  I suppose I should start with the bad news and transition to the good news so I can leave you all on a happy note.

Due to some major budget cuts at the company I've been working for, the decision was made to eliminate a variety of positions.  This unfortunately included mine.  Yesterday was my last day in the group home I have been working in for more than 2 years.  My last two weeks there were hard on me, because, while I knew that they were my last days, the announcement had not yet been made to the rest of the company and I was required to keep the news confidential from my coworkers and residents until my next-to-last day.  But, yesterday was lovely as the team gave myself and the other assistant managers a laughter-filled farewell lunch.  I am already missing the residents there and will undoubtedly continue to miss the ever-changing excitement of working in the mental health field.

With that, it is time to explore new opportunities.  I will be pursuing a new position providing care for a family whose child has cerebral palsy.  This will be a whole new type of care work than what I am used to and I know it will create plenty of new joys and challenges.  On top of that, I will be starting an internship in a few short months as a requirement to complete my MSW degree and I am looking forward to continuing to learn through experience.

About a month ago I mentioned that Chuck was exploring his own job options.  After many twists and turns, he has accepted a position as a wine consultant for PRP Wine!! (Shameless plug time!)  If you love wine, this stuff is good! Chuck will be hosting in-home wine tastings, so if you're interested in a fun night in with your friends, contact me and I'll set you up!  I am so excited for him to begin this journey and eternally grateful for his emotional support through my emotional weeks.

So, friends, family, and people of the internet- that's why I've been MIA from the blog world lately.  It's been a crazy two weeks of weighing options, job searching, and full on supporting each other! I am reminded daily, especially through these trials and tribulations, that I have found my life's perfect partner.  With each new challenge I have more and more confidence that we will be able to handle anything that comes our way.

Please keep us both in your thoughts and prayers as we both begin new jobs in the coming week!